mother and professional
Today I returned from a post-operative otolaryngology appointment where I saw that my vocal folds are healing thanks to necessary surgery performed by a fabulous surgeon and thanks to a lot of discipline on my part. It is an odd thing to not be able to sing or speak, which has been my chore for several months now.
I resurrected baby sign language and learned as many new signs as I could. It has been a very awakening experience for me as the mother of senior twin teens. This is the time of life when parents should typically butt out and allow separation to naturally lead us into the next phase of life. However, I have a distinctly low tolerance for separation from my family members which added to anxiety of forced silence.
Though every muscle in my neck wanted to make me talk, I couldn't jeapordize never again having a singing voice. Using several sheets of paper to communicate end-goals for each teen during the day helped me feel that I still had some "mom control" but I was truly lost.
After a day or so, I was in tears due to my plight of not being able to speak or sing or communicate the ways I had taken for granted. I found myself in a very small, but cute little closet in order to pray and find other avenues for my silent self.
Eventually, I decided to use the memo pad on my phone to communicate and I designed cups and t-shirts to communicate that I couldn't speak when at grocery stores. Even though my shirt clearly stated that I was under "Vocal Rest," I had my memo ready for all who scratched their heads as to my muteness.
more to come...I will continue to blog this story for every mother who is also a professional who must use the voice to communicate.